Monday, November 22, 2010

His Holiness on Condoms...

The Pope has declared condoms acceptable to prevent the spread of disease in certain cases, such as with male prostitutes. But condoms are still no good for Catholic families.  I guess if you're already sinning, you may as well go for the double, but don't swing the bat if you're pure.  Some people have praised the Pope for making a "bold leap into modernity," which is a fucking dumb thing to say when you think about it.  This man is supposed to be god's sheriff, divinely clairvoyant of the lord's will, yet nearly all of us can acknowledge that his ideals are drastically outdated.  Praising him for "coming around," even in the slightest bit, or "kick-starting a debate" that's been exhausted for a century is kind of like congratulating an 83 year old man for learning how to use the toilet on his own, and then bragging about how smart he is and celebrating his example that you probably figured out yourself when you were 3.  But many Catholics aren't happy about it, and they like their Pope better with poop mashed between his diaper and his wrinkled taint.  After all, he's toed the party line of pant shitting his whole life, and there are a lot of Catholics with shit in their pants because of it.  


  1. I'd like to thank the Catholic Church, for years of entertainment and for my recent purchase of an indulgence, securing my place in Heaven.

  2. now you must produce countless offspring in order to create new followers and therefore $$ for the church.