Almost heaven, West Virginia. Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River. Life is old there, older than the trees...Where none smell worse than Melissa Lee's.
On October 22, Melissa Lee Williams barged into her estranged husband's door and ordered him and his friend to "eat my pussy." The husband declined, because he'd been there, done that, and increased his chances of throat cancer before, but his buddy was all like "fukin' rite," and agreed to give it a go. Melissa Lee proceeded to drop trou, and as the man approached “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams" and therefore “declined to proceed any further.” That's right, those words in quotes are from the official police report. Also in the police report is what happens next: Mel Mel totally loses it, pulls out her knife, and exclaims "somebody is going to eat my pussy or I'm going to cut your fucking throat." The cops came, took her away, and she had to post $3,000 bond and is awaiting trial. What a psycho, right?
More after the jump
Well according to some dingus called JoAnne Thomas from RightJuris.com, this is a direct result of "liberal morals in the age of Obama." Her flawless reasoning is that "Liberalism, feminism, all the other ‘ism’s’ have about driven society off a cliff. If women took more pride in themselves and in their body, such a rejection would be unlikely. We need to bring back modesty, cleanliness and morals" So the moral point must be this: If Mel Mel would have washed her stinky ham hole, the dude would have gone down on her, and this whole embarrassment would have been avoided. So that's the moral message from the right? That's the moral solution to the problem at hand? If you're going to barge into your estranged husband's home and demand that his buddy eat at the Y, you'd better make sure you've got a clean lunch counter. This will save you the trouble of having to threaten him with a knife.
Ms. Thomas goes on to say "Liberals think we should all get what we want when we want it, and it doesn’t really matter how we do it. That includes sex. Women are equal now, and should be able to have sex on demand, even it it means threatening someone with a knife. Under Obama’s administration, liberalism has become out of control." Holy cod cooz! What a compelling argument from a person with obviously god-inspired insight! Thomas's spot-on masterpiece of rational social commentary concludes with a question we all want to know the answer to: "We’ve regained the house—will we ever regain the sanctity of the bedroom?" Two words for Ms. Thomas: "you're crazy!" Nearly as crazy as the knife wielding cunnilingus vigilante.