Wednesday, October 13, 2010
How To Proselytize: Lesson 1
1. Focus only on the important sins. Especially the really bad ones, like being gay. Make sure to print those sins bigger on your "Champion sweatshirt of condemnation." Other sins can actually be useful to a proselytizer, so you must take care before willy-nilly condemning just anybody. For example, let's look at our good friend Lou Lasagna III (pictured above). Lou regularly gorges himself with Entenmann's loaf cakes sprinkled with Kraft powdered cheese dust. But Lou is no fool. He understands that his giant belly is really just a canvas on which he can list more things he and god can hate together. Lou allows his gluttony to serve god!